I posted this to my fetlife profile a couple of years ago.
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I was wandering around reading group discussions and generally lurking when I ran across a woman a smidge older than I am advertising her particular brand of domination. The paragraph prior to a list of rules contained the general idea that, “You’re shit, I’m awesome, obey me, send me money, and forget you’re a person.” The whole thing sounded like a wank-material fantasy, too self-absorbed to be true. With the profile being a handful of hours old with the sole goal of papering as many groups with an advertisement for subs/slaves, I marked it off as suspicious and a scam.
So, beyond the initial wariness and the immediate spike of my BS meter, I pondered what kind of submissive this self-involved person (if real) would attract.
Here are some of the delightful rules, cut and paraphrased to protect the innocent(?):
- Address me as Princess or Goddess at all times.
- Never disagree with me, for I am always right and perfect.
- Do not bullshit me or you will be summarily dismissed.
- Obey me at all times and thank me for my attention.
- Spend at least 20 mins a day worshipping my Pictures.
While others might want that sort of thing, it certainly wouldn't satisfy me and I can't wrap my head around it. I suppose in the interest of not judging I should simply say, "not my thing," and move on. But, really, damn. I would totally hate anything so superficial. In my opinion, that sort of ‘domination’ is middle-school quality, in both maturity and impact. I hated middle school. Why on earth would I ever want to replicate the ‘give me your lunch money’ type of domination?
My style is different. While this type of domination might be someone else's cup of tea, I vastly prefer to train someone up to my standards rather than force them to do stupid, pointless shit that tickles my ego. It’s okay, I suppose, if you get a rise out of sending your cash off to some random woman on the internet, financial domination and all that, but, hell, it would get old for me really fast and my opinion of the people who sent me money would drop like a barometer before a storm.
So it got me thinking. If I came up with rules, what would /I/ want out of a man? Or, well, any gender expression of submissive since this is all hypothetical. Of course, I get most of my ideas from reading and my boyo and I are both moderately vanilla, so this is mostly a fun exercise to more-or-less identify what I might like if I wandered into the realm of fantasy.
If I wanted to attract a submissive of utter perfection, these are the rules I’d post:
- I require desire, on your part and mine. No chemistry? No dynamic.
- I require self-assurance in those I dominate. I want my submissive to be able to communicate with me on a level to where we both know where we stand. I am flexible as to what form this takes, but my submissive must feel confident enough with themselves to ascertain whether or not there is an issue, and to bring it to my attention if there is.
- I do not tolerate lying. (This one I share with the Pretty Pretty Princess Dom above) If there is a breakdown in our relationship to the point where you feel you must lie to me, then you are no longer my submissive as you have deliberately subverted the dynamic by manipulating the truth to give yourself power or protect yourself from mine. Trust is hard to regain.
- I require spirit. I want an independent human being to surrender themselves to me, not a broken creature assured of their own inferiority plopping themselves into my hands. If there’s no tension, there’s no dynamic. I’m a boring, literal, serious person, however, and brattiness or deliberate contrariness is not endearing.
That’s about it, though. The very important bits are covered and the rest are just details, I think. Of course, take out references to ‘submissive’ and any sort of dynamic, and it’s pretty much what I strive for with my boyo. I'm certainly not perfect, but this WAS a fantasy list, after all.
